When we were in elementary and forced to color those poorly-printed Thanksgiving turkeys and then asked to write all the things we were thankful for on the turkey “feathers”, I was always that kid that tried to think of the most unconventional things to show my appreciation for.
Fortunately, after many years I am still the same kid inside. This year, I am naturally grateful for the usual: a great support system of friends & family, decent grades, an awesome drill team family, an abundance of mac & cheese at my disposal, you know. But I decided there’s also so many everyday annoyances that I never try and find the silver lining to, and something about the holidays turns into a pile of sentimental mush, so here goes.
7 Unthankable Things to be Thankful for:
- When none of your friends want to be the person that finishes off the ice cream/pizza rolls/(insert comfort food) at your house so there’s just that one teasing bit left over, because at least they weren’t that d-bag that just raids your pantry and leaves.
- Having to sit through an entire 2-hour movie holding in what can only be described as a natural, gaseous release from the body because super hot boy crush is sitting way too close to play it off as the person next to you, because honestly at least you’re interacting with boys (unlike me).
- You let your friend borrow your favorite top already knowing it’s going to come back stained/lost/just not the same and still are shocked when you get it back eight months later a total goner, because I guess it’s just a top and you shouldn’t be emotionally attached anyway (except we still totally are) ???!!!?!?
- When you’re getting your grind on at the gym and even though there are clearly at LEAST 3 other treadmills open, some sweaty old dude still chooses the one next to you, because if they’re knowingly willing to bare your post-workout stank I guess it’s more flattery than insult.
- Long a** posts (like this one) by your favorite blogger (me), because I definitely spent a good three hours trying to be somewhat, bearably, completely not funny at all.
- When you forget laundry day and are stuck choosing between a circa-middle school Juicy velour tracksuit or your ex-boyfriend’s totally recognizable sweatshirt for school, because, well, no there’s no playing this one up- just do yourself a favor and call in sick.
- Uncle Tom who slurps, Aunt Kelly who unintentionally makes you feel like a failure with her questions, Grandma Marg who insists on kissing you every time you make eye contact, or whoever else is sitting at your dining table tonight, because in the end they all love you too annoyingly much.
Happy Thanksgiving y’all, hope it was a good one.